Good News In Texas!!

Why did Southern Republicans get the vote on renewing the Voting Rights Act put off? Why, it's because here in the Lone Star State, with the wonderful legacy George the Third left behind when he went to Washington, there is no longer any need for that law.

But the bill was delayed after objections from the Texas lawmakers to the requirement that the state must get permission, or "preclearance," from the Justice Department or a federal court before making changes to voting standards, practices or procedures.

The rule was aimed at states with a history of discrimination in voting. Six states were targeted when the law was originally passed in 1965: Alabama, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, South Carolina and Virginia. Texas, Arizona and Alaska were added in 1975, when the law was expanded to protect people who have limited knowledge of English.

"I don't think we have racial bias in Texas anymore," said Rep. John Carter, R-Round Rock.

And there's more: the Republicans in Texas have also ended drug use, rudeness, genital herpes, and teenaged acne. It's a wonderful world with streets of gold and fat-free chocolate growing on all the trees where songbirds chirp patriotic melodies.