Naval Observatory Blues, or, My Aim Is Truthy

"Dick Cheney, the US Vice-President, accidentally shot a man in the face with a shotgun while hunting for quail on a Texas ranch."

(With apologies to Johnny Cash and John Nance Garner.)

I watch his plane at landing.
He's waving out the port.
He's unaware as always
How his time is short.
Right now I'm still a bucket,
Full of old warm piss,
But that plane holds the power
That damn fool thinks is his.

When I was still a student
We heard the prez was gone.
Rumors first were saying
A hunting trip gone wrong.
So I shot a man in Texas
Just to test my aim.
But that time was only birdshot.
This load is not the same.

I hear Fox News is sayin'
That he saved us all from doom.
The sycophants are swayin'
'Cause he raised them up from gloom.
Well I know that I asked for it.
I picked me for this spot;
But that moron thinks he runs things --
That's why I'll take my shot.

So when we have to end this hunt trip,
And when Air Force One is mine,
My wife will write new textbooks
And then it's my name that will shine.
No more second fiddle --
I won't be undisclosed.
And I'll ride that great big airplane
Bombing all my foes.