The Cons

(Following secret orders from the Great and Powerful Kos, I have set the classification of conservatives from Crashing The Gate to Edgar Allan Poe's "The Bells". Now he may let me live for another year.)

     Shun such shouting silver cons,
          Libercons!
Their cloud-castle arguments resemble wild put-ons!
     Watch them ponder, ponder, ponder,
          Long into and through the night!
     As they theorize and wonder
     How to justify the plunder
          Of the world that's theirs by right;
     Crying free, free, free,
     That is all we need to be!
That's the ratiocination their ivory tower spawns
     For these cons, cons, cons, cons,
          Cons, cons, cons --
     For the Freedom First (And Only) Libercons.

(There's more, of course. You can read the whole thing at The American Street.)