Mr. Nobody Runs Again, 2006

I know a stealthy candidate,
Who throws us off the track.
He makes good people split their vote --
And some do not come back.
Since no one's ever seen his face
They simply stare at you
When asked, "For Senator, please vote:
Gene Kelly." --"Mister WHO?"

He does not answer questionnaires
Or give out interviews.
He does no mailings, runs no ads,
And shuns the TV crews.
Debates will have an empty chair,
So no one there will see
A reason they should ever vote
Gene Kelly. --"Who is HE?"

His absence dampens rally fires
And start the crowds off cold.
Since none of us have seen his feet
They could be clay or gold.
He may be short or very tall;
He may be thin or fat;
But he's first upon our ticket --
Gene Kelly. --"Who is THAT?"

He's done this to us once before,
Just riding on his name,
And if we all forget that flop,
This time will be the same.
When we go walking door to door
And plead with folks, "Give Dems a try",
They'll ask "Who's yours for Senator?"
"Gene Kelly." --"Good lord, WHY?"